When faced with a decision, have you ever thought to yourself, “if only I can get a sign to show me what to do!” Whether you believe in the power of prayer or whether you believe in karma, the simple truth is that there are signs and answers all around us. We just have to be open to seeing them. I’ve learned this philosophy from two women who I have studied and read – Gabrielle Bernstein and Jen Sincero. Both of these women share similar views on the world and they have changed the way I think.
Particularly, they have changed the way I think about myself. They have helped me instill confidence in myself by teaching me that who I am matters. That I have a purpose – should I choose to find it and carry it out before my life is over here on earth. And let me tell you that I am hellbent on finding my purpose. I am definitely closer today than I was 5 years ago and I’m now 37 years old.
Sidenote | Why is it that we think we’re supposed to know what to do with our lives when we’re bright-eyed and bushy-tailed straight outta college at 22? NOBODY in their right minds knows what they’ll be doing 5 years later, much less 15 or 25.
I felt compelled to write about this because the last few weeks – if I’m being honest, it’s been months – have had me thinking about my passion, my purpose, my calling. I love being a fitness coach and sharing my story in hopes of inspiring others to overcome their own fears and get fit. I truly believe that I have a lot to offer my clients because of my own weight loss journey and struggles with self-worth, confidence and self-belief. I have overcome so many obstacles to get where I am today, even though it may not look like it.
Internally, I am not as strong as I may look on the outside. I’m never trying to hide that, but I do try to keep a positive attitude – because what I think becomes my attitude which affects my behavior. Did I get that right? LOL
So back to the topic at hand…because of my knee injury in July, a lot has changed in my life the last few months physically; and that has translated into changes in myself mentally and emotionally. Those intangible changes have led to a variety of rollercoaster rides when it comes to my coaching business.
A few of the things you’d find me asking or stating in my head since my injury:
- “I’ve been so busy focused on me, I’ve been the worst coach to my clients. They need me and I haven’t been there for them 100%.”
- “How will I make this coaching thing work if I can’t do the workouts after my surgery?”
- “I don’t want to quit, I won’t quit, but I need something to light a fire”
- “This too, shall pass. But will I get swept away with it? How will I get back?”
Gosh, just in reading back over what I wrote just now there is one thing that stands out in my language – FEAR. This is very typical of self-talk in anxious people. It’s a daily battle that I fight with myself. Keeping myself positive can be very taxing on my mental energy levels. Then I find it harder to give myself to others. The irony is that THAT is what makes me the happiest – giving back, paying it foward, helping others reach their goals.
I’ve basically been asking the Universe for signs. I’ve needed something to guide me in the right direction of where to go from here. I’m trying really hard to listen. I’m trying really hard to be open to new possibilities and new avenues through which I can share my story and help others.
I’ve had a few things happen which I’ve taken as the Universe speaking to me and guiding me. I’m excited to have been given an opportunity to be a contributor for Carrie Elle. I’ve decided that since writing has always been the way I can best express myself, that blogging is where I want to veer my focus. I’m still figuring it out, but I’m not one to give up easily and so I see this as a challenge. I’ll be sure to share my guest blog articles with you here on #thecrazycatladycoach, but add Carrie’s blog to your list of follows!! She has a wide range of topics on her blog, from crafts to kid-friendly fun, mommy things and even 21 Day Fix recipes!
Something as simple as an email from a client tonight confirms for me that fitness coaching is what I am meant to do. The way I connect with others might change as I shift my focus to blogging. The types of women I help might change as I continue to share my story of sobriety and battle with anxiety. But I think this will actually strengthen the relationships I have with my clients.
We are all searching for a meaningful life. In the end, it’s the relationship we have with ourselves that allows us to connect with others, and it’s our relationships that make life so meaningful. – ME