Do you know how many times I have thought about 2016? How I have reflected on all that happened and tried to categorize everything? From amazing trips all over the world to those that I missed; from the births in my family and the deaths; from the moments of success to those moments of embarrassment and failure. I have tried over and over to come up with the most amazing start to my blog in 2017 by categorizing my thoughts in the most perfect way, but I’m at a loss.
Maybe that’s the point. Maybe the Universe is telling me to stop trying to make everything fit into a spot. Life is fluid. Each experience, each memory, each moment – they should all interconnect anyway, right? You can’t put an experience into only one box. It’s a part of multiple boxes by nature.
Overall 2016 was incredibly good to me. I traveled to LA twice, went skiing in Winter Park, took my daughter on a cruise to the Carribean, experienced Nashville in the summer, and more. I became the strongest and fittest I’ve ever been by completing the Master’s Hammer & Chisel and then entering the scaled version of the CrossFit Games.
I also ran 2 half marathons and began training for my 3rd marathon, but unfortunately at the end of July I took a major blow when I injured my knee. However, my surgery in November went fantastically well and I’m so glad to be doing PT now.
My beautiful niece, CeCe was born in July. However we lost my beautiful Aunt Donna, too.
I also decided to quit alcohol. So that’s a huge thing. I’m celebrating my 6-month anniversary this month. Crazy how time flies.
My panic decided to rear its ugly head for the first time in a couple of years in 2016. I was on an airplane and the door had just shut when I asked the flight attendants to let me off. I was in full fledged panic. I am so lucky that they let me off the plane. I am incredibly sad I was unable to see my Meg’s Miles family because of this attack, but it taught me a lot about myself.
That’s what happened more than anything in 2016 for me – I learned a lot about myself. I had to dig deep emotionally for the first time in many ways – because I didn’t have alcohol to numb the pain. I’m still learning how to deal with my emotions. My first instinct now is just to shut down. I’m hoping that I’ll start to learn more about processing my feelings, dealing with them, then putting them on a shelf and moving on.
So in summary, while my year ended with a surgery, a panic attack, & touch-and-go moments with my furbaby Merlin, overall I am incredibly grateful. For all that my 2016 experiences taught me. Growth is never easy. But it’s necessary for anyone who wants to actually live their life and not just let life happen to them.
My wish for everyone in 2017 is that of responsibility. That you recognize and accept the fact that you alone are responsible for your own happiness. That it’s a choice. What will you make happen this year? #ownit