Today is a special day. I have been sober for 6 months.
Even writing that feels unreal. I wasn’t a full-blown crazy alcoholic. But I abused alcohol on a regular basis. And when I did abuse it, on more than several occasions I did some shitty things. Including things I don’t remember doing. So I guess you could say that I needed to “get sober” even if I wasn’t what you consider a “drunk.”
I think of an alcoholic as someone who starts drinking as soon as they wake up. They drink even if they’re sick in bed with bronchitis. They have a drink at every meal. They hide alcohol from their family. They sneak it into coke bottles. They pull away from friends. They’ll do anything to get their fix and feel that buzz.
I wasn’t all of those things. But I certainly showed certain signs of addiction.
What I have realized over the last 6 months is that there is no blanket description for alcoholics, abusers of alcohol, or addiction. There is a spectrum, but the end game is the same. Being drunk. Escaping reality.
Today I am grateful more than anything for the discipline to say no. I still go out with friends and enjoy dinner. I’m still me! I still love hanging out with my family and enjoying time making memories. I don’t feel left out. I don’t feel like I’m missing out. I’m right there in the middle of it! I’m more clear. I’m able to wake up the next morning and not feel awful.
Have I been tempted? Yes, on several occasions. It’s not easy to toast with water when your friends are lifting their pink champagne glasses! But having support allows your discipline to win the battle for you. I couldn’t have done it without all my friends standing behind me. Especially without my husband and daughter.
In celebrating this huge milestone today, I write this with extreme gratitude and pride. I hope to be an example to any woman who struggles with alcohol and give her hope that she can fight her addiction, no matter how strong. If you are even wondering one bit if you need help, don’t be afraid to reach out to a friend, family member, or me! I’ll be more than happy to listen. Because nobody can go through this alone.